Well, you can't. I know for a fact. And no, we didn't spend Christmas in Hawaii. I wish!
Me, being the food safety freak that I am, started getting a little nervous on Christmas Eve about the status of the mussels I would be preparing on Christmas Day. I've only cooked with mussels once before but this didn't really concern me ... until the last minute of course.
Yes, around 8:30pm on Christmas Eve I decided to take a peek at the bag of mussels I had bought just the day before, the bag that the man behind the fish counter at our Whole Foods assured me would be fine to prepare on Sunday, and found that the majority of the mussels in the bag were gaping open.
Of course I hit Google right away and learned that I was to discard any that were open. But me, being the overthinker that I am, then started to get worried about the wellbeing of the mussels that were still closed and wondered what to do.
I started with my mother, who has zero experience cooking with live mussels. She referred me to our old neighbor who is a caterer. I boldly called her on Christmas Eve and she didn't really know what to tell me. Just told me to do what I read on the Internet. Hmm. I wanted a more authoritative answer than that.
So I decided to call Whole Foods in Seattle, since I figured they would still be open, which they were, for about 9 more minutes. The man at their seafood counter told me that I hadn't stored them properly, should have kept them in a bowl with ice, and of course they were all dying.
After hanging up with him I still felt uneasy about the whole situation, especially because I started questioning my judgement as to "how open is too open"with a mussel shell. What if it's open just a hair? Does that count as closed or open? What if I cook dead mussels and get everyone sick? Matt reminded me that they don't send you home with a magnifying glass when you buy mussels and to stop thinking so hard about it and to stop shoving mussels in his face for his opinion.
Point taken. I got on the phone with Whole Foods Honolulu - wouldn't you have done the same at this point? As I posed my question to their seafood worker I got an astonished "Wait! This can't be possible. We don't sell mussels here. It's against agricultural law." Then I had to confess that I was in Tennessee, a victim of EST on Christmas Eve and that I was sorry to be bothering them on a what might have been a busy evening, but did he have any advice for my remaining mussels and what to do with them and if he thought they were safe to eat? He referred me to his coworker, a "restaurant guy" who might have experience with mussels. And to be honest with you, I can't really remember what he told me other than that after hanging up with him I decided to just go ahead steam the mussels that were still closed, for fear that they would be dead by morning.
End of story? No. After steaming the mussels, I just still didn't feel good about the whole situation and started having terrible visions of food poisoning our Christmas Day dinner guests. In my head I knew they were more than likely totally safe to eat, but I had just spent an hour stressing about them and at that point had lost my appetite for even daring to try them. So I told Matt I wasn't going to eat them on Christmas and he said "Well, you can't serve your guests something you're too scared to eat!"
True. So I didn't throw them away, but didn't plan to serve them either. Until I told the story and everyone wanted to try them! Can you believe it?
So everyone but me and Emery had mussels with their ciopinno. As you can see, Matt even had many.
And would you believe it, no one got sick! Me, I'm still glad I didn't try any and have learned my lesson ... maybe. I'm actually not sure that I have, as I can definitely envision this little drama replicating itself the next time I cook with any unfamiliar fish, bird or beast ... I'll just try not to make it happen on Christmas Eve next time.